Umm, I've got an, um, assignment for you

Who is the editor who assigned the Washington Post writer to this piece, and how did he explain it? And, once they got past all of that, who's the genius who decided to put it front and center on the online edition?

I would be interesting to hear those conversations.

"Uh, Linton, we wanted you to look into a biohazard issue. We think this could be your big break and land you on the front page. Give me 800 or so words on, umm, cough cough, spitting, cough cough."

It's a good thing there's no real news today.